Get Ethical

The Group, RESPECT performing an ethical dilemma featuring a bully named Michella picking on the new girl in school.

Halfway through the day, Ethicscon participants were treated to a little entertainment along with their lunch. RESPECT, a group devoted to decreasing youth violence, performed a scenario for onlookers to discuss in small groups sitting alongside special guests: students.

Rhonda and Blessing, two middle school students from the Omaha Public School system, joined my table of business people and non-profit employees. Together we discussed RESPECT’s play, but our conversation also took a slight detour into the girls’ school hallways. We heard about the name calling, the teasing that occasionally ensues during a typical school day, mentioned offhandedly by these two amicable, reserved girls.

Students from The Partnership For Our Kids Group Mentoring Program discuss with conference attendees how they would respond in a situation similar to the one portrayed in the skit.

We also listened to Blessing’s recounting of a time when she was harassed online by a classmate over a situation that was completely out of her control. Her place in the bully’s story was misconstrued. The public humiliation she felt after Facebook comments left her looking less cool came almost as quickly as the posts went viral. To this, we listened, understood, reassured, and related her story to the telling of RESPECT’s presentation.

These girls presented a real scenario for us to address – a situation we could use as practice. Yet Rhonda and Blessing were no crash-course. Any one child’s understanding of the difference between right and wrong can have an indeterminable effect on so many others.

The smallest encounters can have the biggest effect.

-Mallory Messenger, Business Ethics Alliance Social Media Intern

Sometimes subjectivity really does matter just as much as the facts. It could be argued that attempting to understand the emotions and viewpoints of kids and teenagers, while difficult, might be a bit easier than convincing them of the verity of a matter.

Giving kids options while guiding them toward good decisions is one of the simplest and most effective techniques involved in a solution-based approach to establishing the practice of ethical decision making, according to Paul Barnes, Ph.D., Associate Professor & Counseling Department Chair, UNO.

Dr. Paul Elliott Barnes Associate Professor - Department Chairperson Counseling

After asking for and listening to the context of a child’s situation, it is then more likely that a kid will acknowledge that you’re really trying to help. Having years of experience hearing out the trials and tribulations of children as a youth counselor in education environments, Barnes acknowledged his finding that many of the choices kids make don’t always match their intent; that is, their strategies can backfire on them.

For example, a well-prepared student might help out a friend who has forgotten about an exam by giving them a few answers on the test. These “short-term, feel-good strategies”, as Barnes calls them, almost always backfire. In this example, the abetting student had prepared for the exam and was not the party asking for help.

A child knows the act of aiding a person in need is not in itself wrong. It is at this place in the conversation where it is appropriate for an adult to intervene in the kid’s recital of the scenario and explain that the context of the situation demands a better, more responsible approach. Barnes warns parents and educators to listen to the child’s strategies, pick out the good ones, and apply those to solve the problems at hand.

Above all, adults must understand what they realistically can and cannot control. To address what you cannot control, become more involved in service to others, educational programs, and organizations which foster fair practices to develop an even greater understanding of how you can effectively help elevate youth ethics, suggested Barnes.

-Mallory Messenger, Business Ethics Alliance Social Media Intern

Ethicscon 2011